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Roll-up for the Reinsurance rollercoaster

Alex Ferguson wrote in The Weekly:

We at Reinsurance Towers are - as usual - feeling particularly happy with ourselves.

While some of us were busy sunning themselves at the World Insurance Forum and our fabulous new Reinsurance Club social in Bermuda, yours truly decided to brave Orlando, Florida, and the theme parks.

After jumping on more than enough rollercoasters that can be possibly right for one human being (our stomach is only just coming back from being untwisted), Reinsurance Towers has decided on its very own theme park idea, which will be set in the surroundings of Lloyd's of London. Other worlds will be built in New York, Asia and Bermuda, but the builders are currently on strike.

Here are just some of our ideas....

Name This! (Sponsored by Lloyd's of London):

This rollercoaster leads you up into the world of profit, and then suddenly you're in the 'Unlimited Liability' chasm, where you're plunged into worthlessness and poverty before getting spat out into the gutter, where a friendly lawyer will be waiting.

The Losses (Sponsored by God):
Sit in your house as it is shaken by earthquakes, pushed over by hurricanes, whirled by tornadoes, and then half-drowned by floods/

Money, Money, Money (Sponsored by Joe Taxpayer):
Learn how to make other people pay for your mistakes - over and over again.Also can be seen in another attraction - "Wall Street" - which has been going strong until late 2008.

Broking Idol (Sponsored by our friends at WHAM)

Based on the American Idol experience at Disney, but with us, it's more exciting. Representatives from three major broking houses battle it out for the last client on the face of the earth. Watch as they humiliate themselves for nothing. WARNING: This attraction might prove to be a little too-close-to-home for anyone involved in aviation insurance.

Food: The Whine Lodge

You'll sit around for four hours getting filled up with rubbish food for unbelievably high prices, listening to other people at the park jaw-aching behind each other's back. You'll feel like you've never left EC3.

Please Note: We are slightly worried about the staff of the London world, because they say that they can't wait to be a part of the staff, and then they go and work for the competition. And then come back. Repeatedly.

Anyway, we've got to run. It's cocktail hour on Collins Avenue, and we're thirsty.

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